Pause

I love and hate long weekends and vacations. Regular weekends give me just enough time to take a breather to recharge for another week at work, but anything longer than two days almost always forces me to reflect on how much better life would be beyond work and schedules and to-dos. With a four day weekend, not every day needs to be action packed. We can take a day to explore the hills on our bikes, enjoy coffee and books for hours, doze on the couch, stroll the neighborhood.. yet on the last day of this lovely pause from the usual pace of life, the anxiety builds, almost by the hour. 

And here I am today, checking the time at 4:30 AM, then 5:15 AM, the 5:52 AM. Alarm goes off at 6 and I'm out of bed, anxious to get moving before I talk myself out of my run. I might have enjoyed the extra sleep, but I was honest with myself in knowing that I'd only check the time at least four more times before giving up on sleep. 

Up at 6. Pre-workout at 6:05. Start running at 6:10. Stop running at 6:55. Start strength training at 7. Make breakfast at 7:20. Eat and "relax" from 7:30 - 8. Leave the house at 8:45. On. The. Dot. 

Long weekends and vacations force me to think about why this matters, and why our finite lives are so backward that 5 days of the week are spent rushing and being stressed, 1 day of the week is reserved for fun and relaxation, and for me, the last day is spent stressing about the next 5 days of stress. Every week. For the next... 30 years?

Need more of this

It's 7:58. Time to get ready for work.